Be Kind To Yourself

The writing challenge that knows you have a life!
The writing challenge that knows you have a life!

I love A Round of Words in 80 Days. I love the concept, the writing challenge that knows you have a life, the idea of being free to rearrange your goals or even change them when life rears its unpleasant head into your plans. I love the community that ROW80 builds, and the friends I’ve made through it.

Lately, my health and my body are conspiring against me. I can hear them whispering to each other in the night!

“Hey, Body, how can we screw Tammy’s plans today?”

“I don’t know, Health, whatchoo got in mind?”

“How about you stop breathing on her, and I’ll give her an ulcer!”

“That sounds like fun! I always like a trip to the ER!”

“Hey, Body, you said you’d tell Health about me, remember? Her Cataracts?”

“Oh yeah! Health, meet Cataracts! I kinda went and invited them along for the fun!”

I don’t think I can reasonably expect to do more than get my reading done of my goals. I’ve quit making my bed, preferring to breathe, instead. Walking is right out. My doctor is working with my insurance to get me oxygen. That should help, but it is still ‘pending’, and will be a long process.

When my hemoglobin finally comes up above 9% (and I have oxygen at home), I should be able to attack my goals again. Until then, I’m just going to be kind to myself and remove the guilt of “I didn’t get my goals done!” I’ll see y’all around the Round, but I won’t be participating for a while.

 

8 Comments

  1. I of course don’t like the plans your body and health have for you. But breathing is good, and so is a realistic approach to life. I hope you can find some comfort in that unmade bed, and that the O2 gets there before you read this. My late fiance had cystic fibrosis, and I know how big a difference that can make.

    I’ll be being kind to you from here, and sending you all the happy healing thoughts and deep energizing breaths I have for you!

    Many gentle hugs!

    1. tammyjrizzo

      Thank you so much, Shan! The O2 will probably take weeks (insurance moves so slow!), but thank you for the wish, anyways! 🙂 I’m sorry to hear about your late fiance. Gentle hugs back at you!

      I can get all the oxygen I can breathe at dialysis, but that’s still 12 hours away as I write this.

      1. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that Tim died 21 years ago next month. It’s a different life I live today, and a better one because he was part of it.

        It shouldn’t take weeks to be able to breathe. I’m glad you have access to it at dialysis, anyway. May the next hours be comfortable, or as close to it as it can be. I’d really like to loan you a bit of lung capacity about now. <3

  2. I’m so sorry to hear about your body and your health turning against you. Bad body, bad health. They need to be sent to the corner for a time-out.

    I work in a medical clinic and everyday I to deal with people who are not getting what they need to survive because their insurance has to “think about it” first. Or if the doctor totally inadvertently marked a wrong box or the transcriptionist is out with a sick kid so the office notes don’t get typed up fast enough or someone’s fax machine is on the fritz for a day…. Argh! No one’s health should be at the mercy of so many things. We should all just be able to get what we need when we need it. Oh, I know, in the perfect world ….

    Best wishes in getting all of your needs met and in the meantime, hang in there.

    1. tammyjrizzo

      Oh, t hank you, Chris! Sometimes, it’s good to know that the frustrations we face as patients are still just as frustrating to the people who have to tell us “sorry, not this time”. It kind of helps to spread the frustration, you know? Makes it seem less of a burden when it’s shared around.

    1. tammyjrizzo

      Thank you, Jnfr! I’ve worked for lawyers working for insurance companies. I loved my job, I loved my bosses, but I hated when we had to tell people, “No, sorry, they won’t pay for that.”

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